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Sunday, January 6, 2013

Medical Mondays- End of the Evil Away Rotation!

Happy Medical Mondays to everyone who came here via the blog hop!  Glad to have you and would love to have you join the blog :)

Update:  Only SIX MONTHS left of residency!!  And even less time til I'll graduate with my PhD, hopefully, in May... Things are rolling along, Jeff has finished his stupid 6 month away rotation in Baton Rouge, and I'm done with all my rat behavior testing.  I'm so excited to spend the rest of our time in New Orleans living together like a normal married couple before we move away in July for Jeff's fellowship and my post-doc.

I know I've mentioned this before, but I really can't believe we've spent 9 months out of our first year of marriage living apart.  Residency can really do a number on your marriage if you don't pay attention.  I've even heard tales of some programs bragging about their high divorce rate because their training was so demanding.  Residency and grad school both seem to have a twisted culture of competition.  If you're not exhausted or working weekends and holidays then you're viewed as a slacker.  Whoever gets in the door first/leaves last gets the most respect.  Of course this all comes at the expense of your personal life.  Sometimes these crazy hours are unavoidable, for example if the resident is on call or the grad student has a time course experiment (the reason I recently missed Thanksgiving and Christmas).  But sometimes we get so caught up in trying to get ahead and work harder than our peers that we go overboard when it's not necessary.  Too many weeks of this mindset and you've lost touch with how to be a couple.  A perfect example- I had nothing that absolutely had to get done this weekend, so I tried to force myself, just this once, to not do any work.  Taking a couple days off has caused me so much anxiety- what's wrong with you when you can't even enjoy a couple days off?!   I don't know how to operate as a normal person anymore, and I know Jeff would agree.  I can't imagine what life must be like to have nothing hanging over your head, a constant threat that you'll fall behind and not be good enough.

We recently returned from a long weekend in Atlanta.  It was more refreshing than I had expected.  For once I wasn't worried about work I had to do, probably because I was so completely burned out I had no brain cells left for worrying.  But I'm already back to my usual self, stressing that I didn't do enough today.  I should have written one more paragraph, should have read one more paper.  I'm hoping that 2013 will bring more stability to our lives (finally living in the same apartment- yay!) and that we can take the time every now and then to slow down and be "normal" people.  Or at least try ;)

18 comments:

  1. Hi! Just stopping in from MM :)
    We can relate, we spend the first year of our marriage separated for 6 months (intermittently) due to away rotations. It was tough but once we were able to settle, it was like newlywed life all over again! ENJOY IT!

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    1. It feels better knowing other people can commiserate!! It does sort of feel like we're newlyweds again. I'm excited to have a reason to start cooking meals instead of living on Lean Cuisines!

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  2. Chrissie...how has fate not brought us together before now? Blonde, married in 2011 and a cute Ortho Resident for a hubby?! So glad MM brought us together. I am already in love with your blog and it sounds like 2013 is going to be a very exciting year for you two. Can't wait to follow along AND more importantly pester you for advice as my hubby is VERY interested in sports medicine.

    Cheers!
    Amy
    http://whenlifegivesyoumedicinemakemartinis.com/

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    1. Feel free to message me about any fellowship questions!! Jeff interviewed all over the south and a few other random places :) I was rooting for NYC but he wasn't up for the adventure!

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  3. You are on to something... my husband can't relax. He hasn't learned how to just let go. He needs at least one day to wind down before he can enjoy any time off. And then the day before he has to return he is mentally already there and can't enjoy his time off. It is a vicious cycle. To get a real day off, he needs to have at least 4 in a row - doesn't happen often enough. Thanks for linking up with us today at Medical Monday's I always love seeing familiar faces and the new ones too!

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    1. I agree! A weekend off is definitely not enough. That's why I sometimes have to force Jeff to use his week of vacation every 3 months! Always glad to be a part of MM :)

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  4. Great to find you via MM Blog Hop! The Ray Doc just came off of a week of night shift- it's like ships passing in the night during that week! I'm so glad he's back on days - I can relate to how you feel!

    I'll keep reading! Happy 2013!

    Ray Doc Wife

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    1. Night shifts sound terrible! We've luckily never had to experience that. Glad your husband is back on days :) Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. :) Your blog is adorable! I can't believe you're doing Neuroscience as a PhD AND long distance. You're amazing! Excited to follow along.

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    1. Thanks! Yea sometimes I question my sanity ;) So glad to have you!

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  6. Is there a "normal" life in medicine??? Not sure any of us will ever find it, but if you do, be kind and share! :)
    My Doc H and I live in the same house and have gone over a week without speaking or "seeing' each other. It's craziness at its best!

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    1. I think I classify "normal" as living in the same house, but yes it definitely doesn't guarantee quality time! All the other crazy things are pretty impossible to control ;)

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  7. Found you through Medical Mondays!
    Congratulations on getting closer to being done! "Normal" life! What a concept!
    My husband and I did long distance for at least half of our dating, all but the last month and a half our our engagement (minus a couple weekend/week visits) and intermittently for anywhere from a few days to two months on several occasions over the past three years. It isn't fun at all. I guess it makes actually living together more awesome!

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    1. Wow that sounds tough! You're right though, it definitely has made me appreciate being together! Thanks for stopping by :)

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  8. Yes, no more aways! Now it's going to seem like he's there all of the time :). And I know how you feel about the anxiety even when you're not working - I get headaches during vacation because my body is used to the stress. Hopefully this gets better with time. Good to see you on MM again!

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    1. It's like doing a complete 180- going from never seeing each other to him always being around. I hope we don't get sick of each other ;) I hope we can both learn to relax outside of work!

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    2. Hi, I'm Becki. I just joined Medical Mondays. I've had experience in hospitals when volunteering. I also got osteosarcoma bone cancer at 21.

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    3. Hi Becki! Glad to have you. I can't imagine going through something like that at such a young age, especially! Looking forward to hearing more about your experiences.

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