What makes people thinks it's ok to ask someone when they're thinking about having a baby? I've been asked this twice in two days. This past weekend, I was at a friend's baby shower, so babies were obviously on everyone's mind. I can understand how the question could come up in this situation. But to have an acquaintance ask me this in front of a room full of girls, none of which I am close to, seemed inappropriate and really bothered me. Especially when I wasn't the only childless, married person there- why me? People must think that now that I'm done with school I must have nothing better to do. Granted, I've been married longer than the other girls at the shower...at a whopping 1.5 years. Why do people expect you to start popping out babies as soon as you say 'I do'? And more importantly, why do they think it's any of their business? I think I answered with something snarky and slightly rude. I always think of something better to say later in the day. I've decided the next time this happens to respond with, "I'm not sure, when are YOU having a baby?" or "I don't know, but I'll be sure to let you know as soon as we start trying!" regardless of their marital status. Or maybe I'll just say I hate kids. I don't, but that should shut them up.
The reality is we won't be telling ANYONE when we decide to start a family. It doesn't matter whether we started trying months ago, decided to wait until we're settled with the move, or want to hold off another couple of years. The point is, it's none of anyone's business. It is such a hugely personal decision, and I would never think to ask anyone unless I felt very close to them and the topic came up naturally.
What if you asked someone and they had been trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant for a long time? Wouldn't you feel like an asshole? And why are people so innately curious about other people's reproduction anyway? It's bizarre. Do people really expect Jeff and I to tell them, "Oh, we're ready now!" and then look forward to having them ask us every single month, "Are you pregnant yet?!" No thanks. So mind ya own bizness people!