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Sunday, June 16, 2013

End of an Era

It's almost that time!  YOU know what I'm talking about.

That time we've all been waiting for...RESIDENCY GRADUATION!  That's right people, Jeff has (officially) 1 week left of residency.  Although he'll be spending his time finishing up his research project instead of working at the hospital.

Is this really happening though?  Is it really finally our turn?!  I mean, logically I knew this day would one day come but it always seemed so far away.  Now it's almost here, right around the corner, less than a week away.  You're all probably going to say I'm crazy for writing this, and maybe I am...but is it wrong to say I'm a little sad?

Why should I be sad?  Shouldn't I be jumping for joy? After all, it has been a pretty rough 5 years.  We've been through holidays spent alone, months and months of away rotations, nights where Jeff never came home from the hospital, getting little to no sleep on a "slow" night, being told when we were allowed to take a vacation and when we weren't, feeling oh-so-under compensated, missed weddings and graduations and birthdays of friends and family, been under constant stress from just trying to get through the week.  If we could just get through one more week, surely the next one would be better.  Sometimes it was, but it usually wasn't.

I can count on one hand the number of weekdays we've been up at the same time in the morning, but I can't count how many dollars we've spent on the never-ending parade of "what it takes to become a doctor" expenses.  Or the number of Friday or Saturday nights I've spent alone, fully dressed because "I'll be home at 6" turned into finally walking in the door at 9:00.

But it's been our life for 5 years and it's become comfortable.  We grew as a couple here and we fell in love with this city.  We got engaged and then married here.  We became "grown ups" here, in the midst of residency.  Maybe because of residency now that I think about it.  It forced us to learn how to manage our finances and it taught me how to be independent.  It taught us both responsibility and humility.

So, as hard as these past 5 years have been, yes I'm a little sad.  Not because I'll miss the hard times but because I think I'll miss what they represent.  Our lives are about to change in a big way over the next couple of years, so maybe I'm just a little scared and clinging onto what feels safe and familiar.  Either way, these 5 years have been good years, overall.  Everyone knows I'm going to miss New Orleans, but what you may be surprised to hear is that I just might miss residency a little bit too.




2 comments:

  1. Change is scary and unknown especially after five years. I'm hoping you quickly follow up with a "I LOVE fellowship!" post :)

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  2. Your 3rd paragraph is so relatable for me. I have gone through all of that and we are only 2 years in, ha. I totally understand why you feel you will miss a part of it. It was such a big part of your life. And despite the rough times, there was so much good that came out of it because now you will enjoy the next few years that much more :) So happy for you guys!

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